The Daily Bungle

Based on a story written in the Guardian Newspaper (15/3/13)

16^th/6/13

                                                                                                                                                       50p

The Daily Bungle         

By political correspondent, Ryan Hillback

Cameron in Pledge to Reveal Tax Frauds-

Don’t worry Mr Cameron We’re Doing the Job for You!

David Cameron, has sent a stark warning, to all true owners of shell companies, who find loopholes in Britain’s’ corporate tax legislations, by insisting ‘we will reveal your identity.’ The Prime Minister (pictured), has vowed to ensure that all those caught up in tax evasion and money laundering, will feel ‘the full force of the law.’ The revelation, was revealed after a covert operation by the Daily Bungle, discovered a fraudulent carpet business operating in the backstreets of Birmingham; whose owners reported a projected loss of £300,000 for the financial year of 2012. But in reality, the owners of the phony ‘Carpets4U store, were actually secretly running a highly successful technological department store; and storing their whopping £75 million gross profit, into bank accounts across Europe and Asia to avoid paying the appropriate tax, to HMRC.

  

    Alexander Zolnerowhich and his business partner Vladislav Konstantinov, owners of ‘Tech4U’ were arrested on suspicion of fraud, money laundering and tax evasion last night. Police raided their Wolverhampton homes at around midnight, subsequently seizing their computers and accountancy documents, as the evidence mounts on the Russian oligarchs. Scotland Yard Superintendent, Fred Neilson, told the Daily Bungle that “two men of Russian descent, aged 32 and 41 years respectively, were arrested at separate addresses in Wolverhampton last night, we are currently reviewing the evidence, and questioning the suspects; we will then delegate the matter to the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service). No further comments will be made at this stage.”

How the Daily Bungle, caught the duo red handed!

In May 2013, we received an anonymous tip-off from an alleged British tycoon, who had previous dealings with Zolnerowhich and Konstantinov, and was aware of their successful technology business. But through connections with other major players, in the technology sector, the anonymous caller, knew about the fraudulent carpet business and the possibility of tax evasion.

  We sent our reporter Mike Ifield, of no relation to the great yodeller Frank, to a location (pictured) where the oligarchs were apparently operating ‘Carpets 4U.’ As Mike, browsed the Persian rugs, Zolnerowhich and Konstantinov, were speaking in Russian, and thanks to a microphone attached to Mike’s waist jacket, and a Russian interpreter located in our main office, we hit the jackpot, as both men casually bragged about a £4 million deal to sell IPhones to Japan.

Cameron to Meet With G8 Leaders

Cameron, has cut short his family holiday to Rome, in order for him and Chancellor George Osborne to attend a G8 summit, scheduled for two weeks’ time, where American President Barack Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel will be amongst those in attendance. Tax evasion and money laundering will be spoken about extensively, as there is a fear, that as tax evasion and money laundering costs the UK government around £150 million per year,  trade will be affected between the three nations.

For more information on this ever evolving story, log on to www.dailybungle.com/taxevasion-moneylaundering